I’ve never liked the phrase, “That’s not the man I know.” It sounds uncertain, as though truth is optional and someone else’s version of events might be more valid than ones own experience and knowledge (normally stated by people who don’t fully trust themselves). I won’t begin this post that way — because what I know, what I’ve lived, and what I’ve shared with Robert are whole, complete, and beyond the reach of any courtroom debate.

If you placed Robert and me in separate rooms and asked how we met, you would hear the same story told from two hearts, two angles — but one reality. Our meeting, our knowing, our loving, and our life together have been truer and more vivid than anything I’ve ever experienced.

The hesitation people feel when confronted with a real story in a world overflowing with fabricated ones often comes from fatigue, distrust, and a loss of spiritual depth. I don’t say that in judgment — only as an observation of the times we live in. We’ve become so used to sensational twists and hidden motives that we now search for the “angle” even inside the truth.

There are so many ill-intentioned, self-serving voices shaping narratives that many have lost touch with their intuition, common sense, and the quiet clarity that distinguishes truth from deception. Manipulation has become so refined that even wise and educated people can be led astray. That is part of Robert’s story — and mine as well. But also this is a story repeated since the beginning of time.

Too often, voices with louder accusations and darker motives are believed simply because drama, shock and horror sell but truth rarely does. Honest, grounded stories don’t generate clicks or outrage. But claim that someone beloved is secretly the opposite, and it taps into wounds of betrayal people still carry — and suddenly the lie travels farther than the truth ever could.

---

When you’ve lived through what we’ve lived through, your dreams begin to change. Suddenly, the greatest longing isn’t applause, attention, or achievement — it’s peace. It’s owning a little piece of land or more, caring for animals, growing your own food, having a family, and living a quiet life.

I care deeply about the state of the world — but I’ve also learned that the weight of the world belongs to God. My role is simpler and sacred: to care for what He has entrusted to me and blessed me with.

For years, I was career-driven out of survival. I became highly educated and accomplished in many fields — music, business, photography, design, health, and more. Yet none of it compares to finally coming home to myself. To align with God’s purpose for my life as a woman. To meeting my best friend, my “twin,” my heart, Robert.

His world of extreme fame is something I walked away from long ago. I was once a well-trained singer, taught by the same coach who trained Patti LaBelle, and I pursued music when I was younger. But unlike many who surrounded Robert, I wasn’t chasing fame, power, money, or public approval. I sang because I loved music — deeply and purely.

That same passion runs like a root system between us. Our musical journeys mirrored each other in surprising ways. I almost studied music formally; my first performance was in a talent competition, singing an Aretha Franklin song. People also encouraged me to leave mainstream music altogether and step into ministry — music for God, just like they did Robert.

Spiritually, Robert and I are “twin-like.” We mirror each other. Sometimes we speak the same words at the same moment, or think the exact same thoughts without saying a thing. It’s a God-thing — impossible to fully explain, even in a lifetime of posts. And when you find something like that, you don’t let it go.

Although we are so twin-like, we are also different in ways that beautifully complement each other. Where he has struggled, I am strong. Where I struggle, he is strong. That’s why I say our relationship is designed by God — I couldn’t imagine it any other way. It’s why we get along so well. There is never any heated anger between Robert and me (never); instead, there is a deep knowing and understanding that goes beyond language, a peace, a harmony, and a calm that’s constant and reassuring.

The peace and harmony we are building now — this quiet world we’re shaping together — began inside both of us first. And of course, it came from God. God has to place that peace, that sense of “home,” that vision of land, animals, family, and belonging inside you before you ever truly find it with another person.

When you don’t go to God for those things, you start looking for them in people — people created by God, yes — but who can never be the fullness of God, only a beautiful part of His abundance and prosperity. That is the best way I know to explain Robert and me to those who are curious.

I rarely talk publicly about our timeline — when and how we came together. I shared it privately with Judge Anne Donnelly over 5 years of correspondence, along with intimate details only I could know about Robert. But I’ve never posted it. Some of it I will save for when Robert is with me — yet I can share a little.

We shared around six months of something magical and deeply delicious before everything exploded. A friendship formed in the most supernatural way (as these stories often do). Angels were surely involved — because I wasn’t searching for anyone, relationship or otherwise, and certainly not someone famous. But in Robert’s presence, I couldn’t help but see the beauty of his spirit. It was like meeting another version of myself — not because I believe my character is extraordinary, but because I’ve always tried to hold pure intentions, even through the worst behavior from others. Grace, love, humility, understanding, tolerance — I’ve tried to live there. And I saw the same in him.

We are also strong — fiercely strong — in the ways that protect what and who we love. Strong in resilience. I recognized a kindred soul in Robert that I had never encountered before. At that time, he was overwhelmed with sadness over the stories circulating about him. I constantly had to remind him not to brood. For moments at a time, he would lighten — and we would distract ourselves with beauty, goodness, and music.

We listened to sermons. We shared music — pieces from near and far, and he listened closely. Yet he seemed distracted by me, just as I was completely captivated by him. There was this feeling that when we were together, we were the only two people in the world. Words became unnecessary — the less we spoke, the deeper the connection felt.

Robert was cautious but deeply curious with me, and yet it was as though his soul already knew it was safe. He was fully present — focused, steady. I was cautious too, but not because of the stories. Even then, it seemed impossible that anyone could believe them if they spent only a few moments with him. Just a brief time reveals his sensitivity, quiet strength, beauty, and something almost mystical about him.

I’m not talking about the Robert who gives interviews, jokes with people, and warms rooms with charisma. Few people ever show strangers the sacred parts of their soul. I don’t believe Robert ever showed that side to anyone before — the focused devotion, the security, the stillness.

And if people are wondering what Robert really wants — because so many false assumptions and allegations seem to grow from that question — I can tell you this, after walking through fire beside him for almost 7 years, and after six months of pure bliss before everything erupted:

He wants exactly what I want.

He wants to live peacefully on his own land, with me — the love he finally found in the middle of the chaos — surrounded by a few animals and good people. People who are honest, loyal, truly spiritual. People who work hard in their own way, who are genuine, generous, thoughtful — like him. A far cry from much of what he’s been surrounded by most of his life.

He wants to focus on love. On real family — the true ones. And on music.

He doesn’t want the noise anymore: not the crowds, not the millions of obsessed onlookers, not the groupies chasing stars and stardom at the expense of themselves and everyone they touch. He wants real love. Wholesome, grounded, down-to-earth love.

A life of peace and tranquility.
A life of prosperity that doesn’t cost him his heart, his mind, his health, his life, or his soul.

A life of real beauty — the kind that is truly grand and worth dying for. And that kind of life always begins and ends with God. That is what we are building now: a legacy that lasts, and a life worth singing and writing about.

To those who are disconnected from God and boldly declare — as though they were God themselves — that Robert will never come home by “higher order or not for a long time,” I say this: they do not know Robert, and they do not know God.

It’s already done! He is already home. Matt 7:7. Have faith!

Robert and I are strong. With God, we have overcome the world.

If only now, the world could overcome itself.

And perhaps that is why many who assume they know Robert cannot tolerate me. I don’t write quick posts for views and likes. I write in paragraphs — with detail, with dates, with evidence. I started this blog to document what I couldn’t say anywhere else, so that those who truly want to understand him can return here, read, reflect, and sit with it.

My hope is that people will come to a humble realization: when it comes to Robert, most need to start over — acknowledging that they do not know him the way they believed — and allow time and space to truly know the people in their own lives, as well as public figures.

We should never draw conclusions about others based only on what we hear. Sometimes, truly knowing someone intimately may never be possible — especially with celebrities like Robert. Accepting rumors, or simply trusting whatever “authorities” say, can be dangerous. It leads to false assumptions, false narratives, and — tragically — sometimes even false charges.

I truly hope at least some of you are learning something new about Robert from this blog and that you enjoy the kind of platform I have created to share my real experiences and knowledge about him and the cases.

If you do, then. stay tuned for more.

Lastly, let me take this opportunity to be one of the first to wish everybody a blessed, safe, harmonious, and wonderful New Year.

God bless!

J.